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by Pstonie (10 June 2004)

What is Cialapren? Does it really work? These questions have been plaguing people for very long. Ever since man could walk on it's hind legs, it has been a deep-seated desire to have a bigger, stronger and more lively DICCKY with more manageable hair and lower insurance rates. Well now, we at GGC Media could not stand on the sidelines any longer while people struggled with these questions. We've decided to put the quality of this product to the test.

We've subjected ten people to the GGC Media Cialapren test, these were the results:

From this information, you will note that a) there was no tenth subject, and b) that subjects 1-5, who were female, consumed more junk food and that subjects 6-9, who were also female, consumed almost none. I made a mental note that we should try this product on males with the next test. The chart was balanced using the Lanczos Pizza/Twinkie offset differential method.

The information was distilled into the following pie chart:

From the new information, we could clearly see that 30% of the participants were dark red, 20% of them were yellow and that 50% were a strange blue colour. Shocking indeed.

However, most of the interesting and useful information was gathered during the off hours of the test. We learned that females do not like it when you abduct nine of them in an unmarked van. We also learned that some of them like Pizza and Twinkies while others refuse to eat while kidnapped. I think the results speak for themselves, further investigation is required.

If you are totally lost to what Cialapren is, it seems to be some kind of fictional penis enlargement drug. Justas received an advertisement for this via spam. However, we have been getting some strange search hits for it ever since he loggged it, and we felt that we had to answer some of these questions.