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Happy death by carrot day!

by Pstonie (3 October 2005)

At some point today you'll decide to take stock of your life and realise that everyone sees you as a complete failure and that you agree with them.

You'll try to kill yourself with a carrot but it will only make you hungry and you'll eat it with some pizza. After a pizza nap you'll decide to hurl yourself into some traffic but you'll fail by jumping like a girl and hitting your head on the pavement.

When you wake up a genie will give you a magic chicken. You'll realise that this is what you've always wanted but then you'll really wake up, sans chicken. The greengrocer will be closed already, no suicide today.

PS: Scientists have proven that girls are pretty.