Why some men choose "the other way

Me, 2002, The Black Swan, Spalding, England

Name: Gareth "No nickname" Millward Location: England, UK Birthdate: 10-10-1985 (or, if you prefer the American date format, 10-10-1985) Jorb: Stoodent, stooding History E-mail: gareth at sq7 dot org Likes: The Pixies, Bill Hicks, and words ending in -ise Dislikes: Reality TV, cats and words ending in -ize Fun facts: Germs originated in Germany. McJob has been entered into the OED as a "job with very few prospects". American scientists spent billions on making a biro work in space - the Russians used a pencil.

"I want to die like my father did - peacefully in his sleep. Not kicking and screaming ike everyone else in the car" - Bob Monkhouse

It seems strange, actually, to think that I'm on the bottom - the bottom - of a bio list on a glorified advert for a failing fan development project. You know, I used to be something in this world. A winner. A man without a care in the world, except for perhaps the price of envelopes.

So, why am I here, of all the godforsaken places on the internet? Well, it seems the market for cheap political quips and poor quality knob jokes has rendered my solo internet career well and truly over, and now I am reduced to regular (sic) contributions to GCC Media.com (that's here). How queer. So, here I am. You should be able to tell my articles apart from the other two. One, I am the only one here who speaks English as my first language, so my grammer and spelling will attrocious be because I haven't been formally taught it - apparantly we're supposed to know. Two, I will tend to use random French phrases which are interesting quoique qu'il soit très difficile à comprendre.

You can probably smell your computer melting at my hiddeous written language. That's right, I'm English. Therefore we shall be refering to the colour and flavour of ice cream, not flavor or color. Sorry about that. I will endevour to make sure this does not affect your ability to read what is going on.

I know mesieurs D'Sane and Justas from the site Roger Wilco's Virtual Broomcloset, yet another prize example of how sci-fi spoofs often get a rather larger following than their lame, serious cousins. Space Quest, the game it pays homage to, must be the incestuous offspring of said cousins. And now we are - friends? Comrades? Pals? Enemies? I don't really know. I think it's safe we hold certain truths to be self evident, one of which is that Inuits rarely go skinny dipping. And that's why we are here. Proost.